Hello, my dear internet friends,
We’re halfway through January 2025, five days past “Quitter’s Day”—the day most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions.
But for me, two years ago, January 15th wasn’t about giving up. It was the day I made a resolution, an intention that profoundly changed my life:
I decided I was done with alcohol. So - I Quit Alcohol.
Letting Go of the Pressure of January 1st
Every year, we put so much pressure on January 1st to be the day we transform everything. “New year, new me” that energy is everywhere, urging us to set goals and make changes.
But here’s the thing:
January 1st is just a day.
Many cultures mark their “new year” differently—it’s all about perspective.
You can choose your reset day whenever it feels right for you.
For me, this rhythm works best:
December: Reflect, purge what no longer serves me, and clear out the old.
Early January: Transition, ponder what I want my life to look like, and plan my first steps.
Mid-January: Begin when I feel ready to make a life change.
That’s how January 15th, 2023, became my reset day.
The Morning Everything Changed
That morning, I woke up:
Hungover, rushing to hug the toilet.
Regretting knowingly having drinks and foods that triggered my histamine intolerance. which meant I was breaking out in hives
Feeling awful—and realizing I was done.
But that decision wasn’t sudden. It had been building for years:
year
During the pandemic, I moved back into my mother’s dry household. Without alcohol (or my other vice, men), I replaced those distractions with obsessive work.
A live talk with my friend Jessica, who shared her sobriety journey, planted a seed. Her story sounded so familiar and made me question my own relationship with alcohol. (PS: Her memoir, "First in the Family," launched in fall 2024—find it here.)
When the world reopened, I returned to alcohol as my “liquid courage.” It gave me:
Funny stories, like pretending to be a duck in a Beverly Hills fountain or skinny-dipping under a full moon in Mexico.
But also, mornings of regret, realizing how lucky I was to still be here. How easily that story could have not been funny
In 2022, while living in Mexico, I decided to experiment. I asked myself:
What would drunk me do?
Then, I did those things sober—dancing, letting go of inhibitions, and rediscovering the version of me who didn’t need alcohol to feel alive.
Finding that college version of me, that early college version of me.
I used to go to parties completely sober. And people would ask me “what I was on”. And I would respond, “life”.
Two Years Later
Year 1: Detox
Letting go of the reasons I thought I needed alcohol.
Embracing the parts of myself I had suppressed.
Prioritizing my health and mental well-being.
Adopting new habits like mindfulness, nutrition, and exercise.
Year 2: Exploration
This past year has been about possibilities:
Completing my advanced-level ICF life coaching training.
Spending a month with my mom in Guatemala and three months in Spain.
Creating core memories through tiny adventures with people I love.
Advocating for my health and addressing the root causes of my pain.
Launching the Build with Joy Group Coaching Program, guiding five women to clarify their goals and infuse more joy into their lives.
Exploring intentional dating, my sexuality, and the types of relationships I want.
Year 3: Connection
My 33rd year on this earth This year, my word is connection:
Connecting with myself, others, and my dreams.
Challenging old patterns while building healthier ones.
Allowing myself to fully embrace joy and build transformative relationships.
What Worked for Me
I didn’t just stop drinking; I worked on my relationship with alcohol.
Here’s what helped me:
Getting real about the WHY.
Why was I drinking? What was I trying to numb or avoid? And be compassionate with the answer.
Taking tiny steps.
Learning to pause, breathe through discomfort, and ask myself:
What support do I need right now?
Trusting myself.
Believing I could make better choices and not caring what others thought.
Being kind to myself.
When I slipped up or felt uncomfortable, I reminded myself: You’re trying. Just keep going.
These same steps have helped me tackle other destructive habits, from negative self-talk to messy rooms to unhealthy relationships.
It’s not about perfection—it’s about progress.
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Your Journey Can Start Today
Why am I sharing this? To remind you:
Change doesn’t have to start on January 1st.
Your transformation can begin on any day you choose.
Every “overnight” decision is often years in the making.
Sometimes, you try and stop. That’s okay—it’s part of the process. What matters is deciding to keep going, day by day.
Reflection for You
I’d love to hear from you:
What resonated with you in this newsletter?
What version of yourself are you ready to let go of?
What version of you are you excited to call in?
Here’s How I Can Support You
✨ Group Coaching: The next phase of the Build with Joy Group Coaching Program is opening in March , and I’m ready to welcome new members.
✨ 1-on-1 Coaching: I’m taking only two new clients each month in 2025 for personalized, intentional support.
💌 Let’s start your journey together:
Book a free, no-strings-attached 30-minute exploratory call today.
As always with love and intention,
Joy Valerie
Until Next time Let’s Connect on Instagram
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