How I ended up living one of my dreams today... en Español 🇪🇸
👀 Open up for a life update, recipe to "try on" your dreamlife, and general chisme on traveling with your bestie, a baby, and a dog.👇🏽
Hola from Spain,
One of my dreams has come true, though it didn’t unfold exactly as I imagined. I’ve been drafting this post for a while, but part of me didn’t want to share until it felt real. So here we go...
Storytime: How I ended up Spain.
I’m writing this from a cozy little attic apartment with an incredible view of landscapes designed centuries ago in southern Spain, where I’ll be spending the next few months.
As of today, September 13th, I’m exactly one month away from turning 33, and life isn’t what I expected—but somehow, it’s even better.
That’s what I want to share with you today: how to pursue your dreams while staying open to change, and how what you end up with might be even better than what you’d imagined.
This story starts back in 2013 when I graduated from RIT. Instead of the chemical engineering degree I initially pursued, I graduated with a degree in International Studies focused on Latin America, Migration, and Genocide/Post-War Conflict. After spending a summer in the Balkans, I yearned to return to Europe. I applied to be an au pair in Spain, did a few interviews, but quickly got talked out of it—this "wild dream." Instead, I took a job in New York City working in microfinance through AmeriCorps. It was still a big risk and aligned with my goals, but it wasn’t the big dream.
Life took so many twists and turns, leading me to backpack through 26 countries, change careers multiple times, and experience many romances and heartbreaks. But I grew, and now I work for myself. Being a digital nomad is no longer some far-off "maybe"; it’s my actual life.
In the fall of 2023, I found myself at a crossroads. I was dating someone who had many of the qualities I wanted, but they didn’t want a nomadic life- something I yearned for. They wanted children—something very different from my own hopes. I tried to make the best of living in rural New York with my family, growing closer to them and nurturing childhood friendships. Yet, I still felt uneasy, like I was forcing myself into a mold that wasn’t mine.
A coach once told me, "You’re like a flamingo in a flock of chickens, trying to belong, trying to fit in because you love them so much—but you are meant to fly. The chickens around you want to see you soar."
That got me thinking about flamingos, and I realized they migrate. They set off, soar, and find their way back home. I’ve often felt like the odd one out. I’ve wished for a suburban life with a husband, kids, and soccer practice, but whenever I think of it, part of me feels like it’s dying—the part that yearns for walks along centuries-old cobblestones, immersion in rich cultures, and seeing sunrises from different viewpoints all over the world.
One day, sitting on my Tía’s terraza in Guatemala, I realized I had to let go of the relationship I thought I wanted and choose the life I once told myself was out of reach. I craved waking up next to someone who wanted to travel and create memories with me. I realized this meant ending a sweet romance.
It hurt. It felt like yet another relationship had ended because I couldn’t stay put. It seemed like I had only two choices: the suburban housewife or the free-spirited traveler.
But in that moment, I looked at how far I had come. Two years earlier, I hadn’t even gone on a date because I was focused on my goals—seeing the world, building my career, and convinced that all men were terrible. Now, I realized that wasn’t true. I had healed and worked through so many wounds. It wasn’t that I was doomed at relationships but rather it just wasn’t aligned.
I realized I could design the life I wanted, and that someday, someone who wants the same life might cross my path. Even bigger, I realized a relationship wasn’t the ultimate marker of success but rather someone to share life with.
Being honest with myself was hard. I sat with my feelings, envisioning what I wanted. I remembered that rooftop moment, and how I wanted more moments like that, all over the world.
Then I recalled my long-held dream of going to Spain. I had put it on my vision board and shared it with my best friend, saying that one of my goals for 2025 was to acquire a nomad visa and live abroad.
A few weeks later, my friend, whose lease was up, said, "What if we go to Spain for a few months and see how we like it?"
My heart lit up. I hadn’t even thought of that. It made the dream feel real and accessible—no longer this "perfect," unattainable goal. But that realization terrified me. What if Spain wasn’t as romantic as I’d imagined? What if I messed up?
But if I didn’t try, it would remain just a shiny dream—something I could admire from afar. What if I started turning that admiration into inspiration and took the first steps?
So, I agreed. My most level-headed, organized friend—a suburban mom of a toddler—was saying, “Let’s go.” Why not?
As each month passed in 2024, I started appreciating the small joys of rural life—the sunsets, the long walks, the deeper connections with my family. Knowing that my life would change in September made those moments even more meaningful. I could come back, but it would be a different version of me. The flamingo, finally embracing its nature.
And now, here we are.
A year later from that rooftop in Guatemala, and here I am on another terraza, our own, in Spain. I’ve realized that I got exactly what my soul desired, even though it didn’t look like I thought it would. Instead of creating memories with a romantic partner but rather a soul mate.
I believe soulmates aren’t just for romance but in friends - a mate that our souls get to share this life time with. And I’m sharing these moments with my best friend & of 13 years, and I get to be a part of her daughter’s life too. I never imagined this would be my life a year ago, but I’m incredibly grateful it didn’t turn out the way I planned—this is better.
Here’s a little formula for taking those first steps toward your dreams:
Be honest with yourself: What do you truly want? Sit with it. Let yourself feel it. It might be uncomfortable, but let that deep desire bubble up. Speak it into existence if you can.
Share it: I told my best friend about my dream, and it felt so unreal and silly at first, but I shared it anyway.
Try it on: What’s the first step toward that dream? What’s a manageable path you can take?
Be open to change: The dream might evolve. Some parts might turn out to be inherited from others, and you may explore a different direction. It might even end up being better than what you imagined.
And that’s how I ended up in the south of Spain.
While I’m here and have your attention, I’ve completed my ICF Coach training courses and I’ll still be working U.S. hours and coaching clients. In fact, I’ve just launched a group coaching program focused on achieving goals in community.
I have capacity for 4 more clients in 2024 and 2 more for the group program. I would love to chat if you’re curious.
So if you’re feeling stuck in life, career, business and know you are that flamingo ready to soar and reach your dreams - let’s jump on a discovery call and see how we can work together.
Hasta la proxima,
Joy Valerie Carrera
PS: Follow along on my Adventure on Instagram
PPS: Nikki told me to tell you to stay tuned to our travel vloggy insta documenting our adventures of 2 best friends and a baby (featuring dog) (TwoFriendsAndABaby)
