🎉It's your party and you can cry if you want to... 😭
👇🏽✨Open up to read about getting your sh*t together, feeling your feels, all while embracing being the beautiful imperfect human you are 👇🏽✨
Hello builders and friends,
I almost didn’t send this newsletter, I had a draft and hadn’t edited it. It was all done and I got caught up in my busyness and excitement that I forgot to hit send. Yes, we have no niche here, the niche is ME. I am just showing up in your inbox being my full self, sharing my lessons with 2500+ people subscribed, and bringing you on this journey literally to build with joy - yes me joy and we’re making it as fun as f*cking possible.
I created a challenge for myself - that I was going to let myself be the messy perfectionist but work with the perfection - and just embrace the messy and send a newsletter a week. Even if it wasn’t perfect, just use it as my fuel.
And I got stuck - I hadn’t finalized my thought and I froze and didn’t hit send….
So Lesson of the week
So here we are - hitting send on Tuesday - scrapping the first thing and just hitting go and I had this little tough love voice from previous coaches, trainers, and bosses reprimanding me for not being a “woman of my word” and honestly, my immediate reaction was yea f*ck off because I realize - I overextended myself and realized ya tough love does not serve me. And I am willing to bet it doesn’t serve you either.
I used to believe that is what I needed, I needed that kick in the butt that push sure at the moment it might help to push and create that urgency but in the long term is - then I become too hard on myself. I don’t give myself grace. I am not kind to my brain that tries so incredibly hard with the wiring it has to do its best.
So I thought to myself of all the messages I have received from the years of personal and professional development aiming to be the best me and decided - I’m adding my twist.
I used to think I only had two options but life has taught me we have 3 …
1. Sit around and complain that life is hard and cry about it
2. Do something about it and decide your story does not end here and focus on the next step .
or three what I’ve realized works best for me ….
DO BOTH! Cry Complain, be a HOT MESS, feel the feels, - and then decide my story does not end here and DO something about it, take the NEXT step.
I’m gonna complain, I’m going to ugly cry, I’m going to be a weenie about it sometimes…. and then I’m going to keep going. WHY?
Because It’s completely human to get frustrated, complain, cry, and process because life isn’t easy so don’t be so hard on yourself. Feel your feelings, how ever long you need, that’s part of your healing process - YOUR OWN PROCESS.
Then you get to write your own story and choose what happens NEXT. F*ck , I’m writing this in the middle of my process, life is still hard, and I am not where I want yet BUT I’m going to cry and write my way to the other side - let myself go through the process.
You get to keep going but to skip over the part that makes you human - that’s unrealistic, toxic positivity asf, and honestly will just bury it deep down inside and eventually come out in the most inconvenient of times.
So in the iconic words of one my my favorite songs
It’s MY PARTY And I CRY IF I WANT TO!
This is my f*cking life, it’s my party, this is my life party - and I’m going to CRY IT OUT IF I WANT TO! Because LIFE IS HARD sometimes, and no I’m not going to “toughen up” I’m going to be sensitive asf cause in a world that is so hard - we need people who feel, we need those sensitive souls that don’t become desensitized to the harshness. I’m going to show up - fully me - sensitive AF.
On a cooler science note - crying releases oxytocin and endorphins so honestly - our bodies are literally healing themselves every time we cry. We feel it becomes easier, we get through it a bit easier. We literally heal old wounds, and old connections, so let yourself feel it and let it go. I promise it will be easier. { Educational Resource }
So I hope this newsletter gave you some perspective for the week… now some shoutouts and what I’m up to
Client Shout out!
I want to shout out one of my amazing clients - Evie aka La Mala Mujer she is hosting her signature We Came to Slay Salary Negotiations Free Master Class for Latinas Live on March 28th so sign up here to reserve your spot
what I am up to :
I did a podcast episode with Breana of Bre Bre Podcast, you might want to listen to hear more about my ADHD journey, a career in tech, and growing up a PK (pastor’s kid).
Spotify Link here : {Open me here }
I partnered with ADHD Transformational Coach Tiffany Theofilos & launched the breakthrough to soar ADHD group coaching program. We welcomed 12 amazing brains on this journey to celebrate our neurodivergent selves and understand their brains more! Our next cohort will open up in September 2023.
I have 6 spots for the year to work one on one with ADHD, Burnt out & Overwhelmed asf entrepreneurs, creatives, and remote workers to help you build systems for your unique brain to work less & play more. Feel free to book a complimentary 30-minute action-oriented coaching call. note this is the last month I will be offering complimentary sessions - so if you’ve been on the fence about getting on a call with me book it before I start charging ;)
Until next week - cry it out, friend!
Joy Valerie Carrera